Whopever.....Text Messages.....

NB- All texts are written as rec'd, no spell check failure here, just fat fingers and predictive text

Friday 3rd Jul
  • JapWooWhop - bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored


Thursday 20th Nov
  • Miss Whop - what a cunt !


Sunday 9th Nov
  • Anon - I like to play with it
  • Mini Whop - just got in now


Saturday 8th Nov
  • Miss Whop - Nice , I'm sure the leaky far is very attractive
  • Miss Whop - Hmmmmm!!!!!!!!!
  • Miss Whop - yeah and I'm tired and i just thought what a selfish twat, will re read tomorrow with a fresh head....


Friday 7th Nov
  • Anon - what is wrong with you....
  • Miss Whop - yeah noticed that as it was sending


Wednesday 5th Nov
  • Miss Whop - what a fat bastard


Saturday 1st Nov
  • Mini Whop - he just wanted to stick the knife in the bastard
  • Mini Whop - I fucking know am gonna put TNT up his man fanny


Sunday 26th Oct
  • Anon - pete tongue my end mate....


Tuesday 5th Aug
  • WagWhop - Im in london(dont ask) need a favour, can u call me on 02079304832, battery low ask for liz she'll pass u on to me
  • WagWhop - Knew you wouldnt fall for it xxxxxx did ! X
  • GMTV - Thanks for your entry. Winner will be contacted and announced on www.gm.tv - visit our website for News, Weather, Showbiz and lots more
  • Anon - R u awake cocker?
  • WhopChops - Any better whop?
  • WhopChops - Good. Starting to get a bit twitchy as fucking dire in this cab today..
  • WhopChops - WhopChopYeah you're right! Actually not gonna fold and feeling quite ok really.. Done your ironing?


Monday 4th Aug
  • WhopChops - Morning turdy. One of xxxxx mates puked in taxi last night in xxxxx Hilarious.. Unless you were the driver of course.
  • WhopChops - No honestly i'm fucked off and company would be shit but thanks for the offer
  • WhopChops - No prob i'll sit on my own then. X
  • WhopChops - Tell xxx she'll love it, it's like being on safari and there's turtles everywhere. Oh if there's any rose left you can bring that! And water! X
  • WhopChops - Sorry, misinterpreted you reply i think! Shall i bob in when done wi this?
  • Miss Whop - I feel like getting totally arseholed


Sunday 3rd Aug
  • Miss Whop - I've left my bacci!
  • WhopChops - Ok? Wonder how turtle whop is right now?
  • WhopChops - Felt worse! Struggling mentally towards the close this morning but yeah, not too bad! How many subjects?!
  • WhopChops - Always feel better after a nice refreshing shower/Piss.
  • WhopChops - Not to mention costa rica..
  • Miss Whop - Hiya, sorry got yr message. . Just woke up have a look at Bbc 2 now, i've put it on record as i am going back to sleep again x x
  • Agent Whop - Is David Icke in it?
  • Agent Whop - No not a green tracksuit in sight
  • WhopChops - Largest head you've ever seen. Elephant variety.


Saturday 2nd Aug
  • Anon - Like I said if I was drunk I would have probably been a bit ruder so absolutely no problem its kind of nice at the same time - a nice thought :-)
  • WhopChops - Dont bother he's just turned up
  • Anon - Yeah wall nut whip.... what you still doing up x x
  • Miss Whop - I'm def not comin down!
  • WhopChops - Got any beer at yours?
  • Miss Whop - Jesus this is like pulling teeth
  • Miss Whop - God is he still with u?
  • Anon - U are u sausage dodger!
  • Anon - You cant be ill yet its only 7 ha ha ha x
  • Anon - You are so funny you know that fuckin hillarimus ! X
  • Anon - Good reply I miss mine too :-)


Friday 1st Aug
  • Anon - Just in super market 0t tt
  • WhopChops - Conspiracy
  • WhopChops - Cunt's
  • Mini Whop - Piss flap x x
  • WhopChops - Double cunt's
  • Mini Whop - Its not that tight.... more like a melon x x
  • Mini Whop - Oh so tight...... you ok uber tight whop x x
  • WhopChops - Dont bother with your's.
  • WhopChops - Not got a scooby do do do whop
  • WhopChops - Whining and dining going on here, so spare me a moment.
  • WhopChops - The moan's cleanin bathroom now so go for your life chick.
  • WhopChops - Oh pretending to give a whopshite are we ?
  • WhopChops - Pack a bag
  • WhopChops - Gobble gobble wipe?
  • WhopChops - Yum Yum. Got my futon downstairs now so fire away.. By the way, you two fuck it tomorrow and i'll be seriously disgusted. Sunday's are always best.. And i know what lightweight whop's like. She's watchin xxxxxx and hasn't got a doo about this affair..
  • WhopChops - U dare cancelation dot com and i'll fuck u up mother fucker
  • WhopChops - Disgraceful. Should be ashamed of yourselves..
  • WhopChops - Should i bring a mate tomorrow? We could have a 3 bean salad..
  • WhopChops - Yeah and easily distracted. Learnt too late, and never really developed. Good in nationwide league tho..


Thursday 31st Jul
  • WhopChops - What a dick..
  • WhopChops - Fuck you..
  • WhopChops - Check your email. Quality. Sorry but dont want another one of those tickets up my arse. Catch you in a bit..
  • WhopChops - Kiss it.


Wednesday 30th Jul
  • WhopChops - Think i'll skip the bath and prob leave coffee till after rush hour if ok.. X
  • WhopChops - Morning dildo! Little xxxxxxx job at time n a half this morning, so being thurs game on! Might actually keep it real tho ready for weekend.. How dyu get on?


Tuesday 29th Jul
  • WhopChops - Scrag end.
  • Miss Whop - Turning this fone off switchin to whop fone....
  • Miss Whop - Oh God...r u ok?
  • Miss Whop - How do u feel....he's in complete denial, surely!
  • Miss Whop - Well his second txt was a little garbelled do u think he's drinkin?
  • Anon - Still missing my humour :-)


Monday 28th Jul
  • WhopChops - Night gonk
  • Miss Whop - Yo yo yo! U still up baby girl!
  • Agent Whop - Yo yo yo yo you too, I'm ok if a little bored, had a very quiet weekend sat in watching the telly which I actually enjoyed more than I convey, but but but all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, off rockin n rollin tomorrow and Thursday so looking forward to that, too bleedin hot down here, can't get to sleep at night, how about you whop?


Sunday 27th Jul
  • Miss Whop - Not this morning but got txt at 2.45 sayin night! U heard anything?
  • WhopChops - Mega bender central.. X
  • WhopChops - Love you too dick face.
  • Anon - Ha ha sorry babe will give u a heads up next time im going to get drunk
  • Miss Whop - Not a left cock then!


Saturday 26th Jul
  • WhopChops - morning whop, we'll catch up for def today if youre not busy. better put Miss Whop on suicide watch today.. just passed hers and all curtains open so there's a big one going on there i think ?


Friday 25th Jul
  • WhopChops - oh my god i've just had the most gorgeous pleasent funny and appreciative women in the cab ever I think , with the look at the end the lot.. just having an hour in xxxxx xxxx wish the students were still about
  • WhopChops - yeh but you never give me the look and she talked about joining me at the xxxxx, nearly shot my bolt
  • WhopChops - Lovely skirt up here pity there's not a bit more skirt
  • WhopChops - bit of your classical see me throught jam on motorway
  • WhopChops - This is ridiculous, ready for a cunting cider


Thursday 24th Jul
  • Anon - oh yes I know at some point I'll pay the piper
  • WhopChops - this is still one ultra fucking wank job in summer
  • Private Whop - I am :-)
  • Anon - ok rev the engine just getting off
  • Anon - anyone worked it out yet ?
  • Miss Whop - me too do you fancy KFC
  • Miss Whop - by who ..gorgeous dishy man ! Only kiddin.. would you rather I go


Wednesday 23rd Jul
  • WhopChops - this is one ultra fucking wank job in summer
  • WhopChops - morning titty, demons are here today alright
  • Agent Whop - Yep!


Sunday 20th Jul
  • Mini Whop - whyy you'd get ripped off ??
  • Bomb Whop - don't worry no one will hear it from me, not even XXXXX, want to see how all this goes >>>>
  • Mini Whop - Why what have you done XxxX ??
  • Scuba Whop - will call 4update lata , U ok ?
  • WhopChops - Mega Bender Central......
  • Miss Whop - hhmmm- we'll have to investigate further....!!!!
  • Miss Whop - Good Morning Whop


Saturday 19th Jul
  • WhopChops - ha ha whoppsters
  • WhopChops - i've lost it for a day at least , need the drawing board badly
  • WhopChops - no
  • WhopChops - Yep
  • WhopChops - yeah and found out what I said round at the neighbours other night. not good at all , Don't feel good about mysef today
  • Private Whop - ok :-)


Friday 18th Jul
  • Miss Whop - Oh yes what u been up too Mrs ? and where were you till 4am !!!!!!!!
  • Miss Whop - Hiya ...how you feeling today??
  • Agent Whop - has he killed breakfast with his bare hands yet ?
  • Agent Whop - so much for a quiet night! Felt better that is for sure, the walk will do you good or you could get action man to carry it down to yours
  • WhopChops - get in !
  • WhopChops - just had a text of you know who asking how the hangover is , Don't remember seeing him..
  • WhopChops - full on orchestra in mine
  • WhopChops - Not yet Whop, not even for a Nosh
  • Private Whop - Sorry about your headache :-)
  • WhopChops - with love beside us, nothing can divide us -- i'm singing along


Thursday 17th Jul
  • Private whop - I was sleeping
  • Private whop - are you back at your house yet ?
  • Private whop - sorry for what ?
  • Agent Whop - Fuck me i'll be there in 5!
  • Agent whop - just havin beer in the XXXX my mates playing geetaar, you still in the xxx?


Wednesday 16th Jul
  • Anon - And?
  • WhopChops - I feel like a drink
  • WhopChops - had to get taxi covered this morning, but if the fat lazy cow had let me know she wasn't gonna be up could have saved 25 quid !
  • Miss Whop - ah well probably with my brain somwhere?


Monday 14th Jul
  • Miss Whop - top banana, you had a good eve?
  • Voicemail - voicemail has 1 new message, please dial 121
  • Private Whop - you have 50m mins x
  • Miss Whop - Morning little lady, hop u mk
  • Mini Whop - ok babe won't say a word
  • Miss Whop - what a twat ! this is why u haven't heard anything
  • Mini Whop - Think i am growing a cock on my head, ..been stung by something and I now look fuckin ugly whop if there was one..I look like a child from the ugly tree
  • Private whop - is it chickenwhops ah ahhha
  • Wagwhop - think he thinks if you hit the net you accumulate points stupid twat !
  • Wagwhop - Code red Iceman this is maverick got your tail and target in view..


Sunday 13th Jul
  • Mini Whop - Jesus Uberwhop..you read like me hurry up tard whop...hurry up otherwise I will come round and chop your whop off xxx
  • WhopChops - B bet grub but XXX prob better
  • WhopChops - Er woo hoo
  • Private Whop - 6am just added you to my MSN messenger contacts


Saturday 12th Jul
  • Miss Whop - i'm going to take the car now and pick up the whop mobile
  • WhopChops - Tad longer, just dropping some under achieving wank stain off
  • WhopChops - Have you got CD cleaning fluid? that's not a drink by the way
  • Miss Whop - Top Banana...there's another sayin to in on
  • WhopChops - Dick
  • Private Whop - Do you think my bum looks big in these jeans?
  • WhopChops - Apparently bloke x doors down has x, thinking of giving him a knock
  • WhopChops - Missing you whop's much. Are we dining tom lunch?
  • WhopChops - Sillyarse
  • WhopChops - No work, No play, couple o vino's and o the wankin mohican's..sorry whopettes to disappoint but has to happen X x
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